It seems like cats never forgot the fact that they were worshipped as gods thousands of years ago
"obama is fuckin up"
"should have voted for the other guy"
No. We should have voted for the other guy you twats. Were all fucking doomed now.
I don’t understand how people can shower in like five minutes I mean I can go as fast as I can I still have to shampoo my hair and condition my hair and scrub myself and shave and cut myself shaving and use the blood in my summoning of the dark lord then travel to another dimension to ward off my enemies then come back and dry off how do you do that in five minutes
2 in 1 shampoo/conditioner
the guy in front of me walked into a post and i was so busy laughing that i walked into the same post
we’re going for coffee tomorrow morning
SO I GET HOME AND THERE’S THIS RANDOM KID ON MY COUCH AND HE’S LIKE ‘ALRIGHT MAN I DON’T WANNA HURT U JUST PUT UR STUFF DOWN AND GET ON THE GROUND I JUST WANT UR MONEY’ AND I FUCKIN ALMOST PUKED I WAS LIKE “OMG PLS NO I DON’T HAVE ANY MONEY I’M ONLY 15” THEN HE WAS LIKE “NAH MAN I’M JUST FUCKIN WITH U I’M UR BROTHER’S FRIEND HE’S IN THE SHOWER I’M JUST WAITIN FOR HIM”
do you guys ever do that thing where you adjust the tabs because they don’t look like they’re in the right order
real talk the first place id hit up during the purge is the pet store u gonna see me on the street with 50 puppies on leashes